So, I must say planning my second wedding was far more fun than the first, I was older, paying for it myself and I knew exactly what I wanted my wedding to be like. Funny, Charlie's ex had gotten engaged long before us and was supposed to get married that summer (when we got engaged) but, when the kids called her and told her about our engagement and wedding date, she told them her and her fiance (husband now) had picked the same date, she asked to talk to me and of course she was going to change her date. One potential conflict avoided, and thankfully there were no others.
I think the wedding was hard for Bethany, I know it was, this was her Dad, she was/is a Daddy's girl and me being me wasn't easy for her, I'd like to say now looking back she knows it was a good thing but at the time it was hard. I didn't really see that then, I was wrapped up in my own process. We've talked about it and I've apologized for not being sensitive to her, I just wanted her to be as happy as I was. The boys were fine, they didn't have any of the fear that Beth did. As for Charlie, he wanted me to have everything I wanted and happily let me plan away. Of course I took it and ran. I wanted a wedding that represented us, fun, romantic and family friendly. I knew the King's Grant had clam bakes and I thought what a great idea, I made an appointment and when we went I just knew this was exactly what we wanted. So, a formal wedding inside at the Gazebo and then outside for fun!! We had softball, horse shoes, a DJ and a dunk tank, I'll explain that later. But, I wasn't kidding, I wanted I Cinderella theme, I found invites of off white and blue with a stage coach and road to a castle, I ordered little stage coach jewelry boxes as favors for the women. I also had picture frames shaped as a stage coaches being pulled by a horse, they were small enough and I used them for the seating arrangements. I was doing everything myself and with the help of friends. I was happy. Then someone asked me how I felt about being a "step mom". In all honesty I guess I never even gave it a thought, I mean I loved the kids and figured not much would change, just now more official. However, everyone wants to harp on them not being my kids. Me raising another woman's children and all the conflict and drama that can entail. I will address this only once and as delicately as possible, their Mom and I have had our share of disagreements and of drama, but in the end our main focus was always the kids. Things could have been better but also could have been a whole lot worse. We are in a great place now and look forward to all that the future holds for our kids.
I love being a step mom it was been one of the greatest experiences of my love, I could not love them anymore even if they were my own. To me it was a very natural transition and let's face it anyone who knows them, knows they are really great kids so they made it easy as well.
I pushed all those thoughts out of my head and focused on my wedding to my best friend and soul mate, I had waited a long time for him and him for me, I was going to get my happily ever after!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I'm back~
So, it has been a while since my last post, between kitchen remodel, Mom, holidays and a very tragic death of one of our friends on the fire department with Charlie... I just pushed everything else to the back burner. However, after a trip out to LA with Bethany, I am refocused and ready to roll on!!
When I last posted I was asking the question was I really ready to just move out if I didn't get a marriage proposal? In my head I would tell you yes, I wanted, needed and deserved more! My heart thought my head was crazy and they battled daily, suffering in silence. I did not need to push, Charlie was not that kind of man. As the months rolled on, we had it all. I was adjusting into my roll as woman of the house. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, baseball, basketball, car pool, it was everything I wanted, but looking at an empty finger, always snapped be back to reality, was I not good enough, did he not love me in that way?
It was silly really, I mean a piece of paper and a ring was not going to change anything, it had gotten to the point of us joking about it, Charlie is no fool he knew I wasn't "really" joking. I had set a move out date of February, it came and went, after all who wants to move in the winter. The winter went on with fabulous dates, great times with friends and the kids, a bit of arguing as we were settled now and real life took over, but we just really communicate well, so it was good. The disagreement's we did have focused on one thing, the only thing we have truly ever fought about, can you guess??? Luckily as the years have gone on, it is something we laugh about now, I was so silly! Our 3yr anniversary was approaching and it was a weekend we had the kids, so we made plans for them to sleep over our friends house. It was a warm Saturday in July and Charlie was working washing windows and I was at our friends in-laws pool with he kids, Tom had a baseball playoff game that afternoon Charlie and I were going and then dropping him back off at the pool. Charlie arrived at lunch time with a dozen yellow roses for me, I was so happy, our friend said "what is that little box in there" I jumped to my feet, but he was kidding there was no little box. Charlie took a dip in the pool and called the kids down to a corner of the pool, I figured he was going over rules for sleeping over and at the time didn't think much of it. We changed and left for the base ball game, Charlie was being weird, more romantic and lots of childhood memory talk and how much I had given him his life back and what he always wanted for his home to be. When his parents arrived at the game, he said he needed to go talk to them and he would be right back, again this was strange but I didn't give it much thought either.
After the game, we dropped Tom off and went home to ready to go out to dinner, when we went to leave Charlie wanted to stop at the pool and say goodbye/goodnight to the kids, as we walked back in I asked Beth to take care of my flowers and Dan said "they smell really good, you should smell them". Slightly annoyed as I wanted to get going I went over to smell them, on top was a little box all wrapped., Now our friend is a prankster, so I assumed that he went and got a box to play a joke on me, so playing along and cracking jokes I began to open the box....SURPRISE~ inside was a diamond! I turned around and Charlie was on his knees and the kids stood behind him and he asked me to marry them, as tears began to flow, I said "YES" it was perfect, a day I remember like it was yesterday. Dan later said that he thought it should have been more romantic and I told him I would not have it any other way. So now we talk about all that lead up to that moment, well first we set a wedding date 7/28/01 the following summer and our official first date. So I find out that when he called the kids to the corner, he told them his plan. When we left Dan informed our friends and they went and got cake, cards and champagne. At the park when he went to talk to his parents he told them, and the walk through his childhood to meeting me was to let me know how much I meant to him, it all made sense now!!! See, I would have been intrigued by all this behavior if Charlie did things on "special" days, but he didn't he did them went you least excepted it. I guess his thought was I would never suspect a proposal on our anniversary so it was perfect! He was right, I was very, very surprised! We spent the whole night planing our wedding, we started the guest list and we were beyond happy and excited. I was going to have the perfect "Cinderella" like wedding, I mean really is anyone surprised?
When I last posted I was asking the question was I really ready to just move out if I didn't get a marriage proposal? In my head I would tell you yes, I wanted, needed and deserved more! My heart thought my head was crazy and they battled daily, suffering in silence. I did not need to push, Charlie was not that kind of man. As the months rolled on, we had it all. I was adjusting into my roll as woman of the house. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, baseball, basketball, car pool, it was everything I wanted, but looking at an empty finger, always snapped be back to reality, was I not good enough, did he not love me in that way?
It was silly really, I mean a piece of paper and a ring was not going to change anything, it had gotten to the point of us joking about it, Charlie is no fool he knew I wasn't "really" joking. I had set a move out date of February, it came and went, after all who wants to move in the winter. The winter went on with fabulous dates, great times with friends and the kids, a bit of arguing as we were settled now and real life took over, but we just really communicate well, so it was good. The disagreement's we did have focused on one thing, the only thing we have truly ever fought about, can you guess??? Luckily as the years have gone on, it is something we laugh about now, I was so silly! Our 3yr anniversary was approaching and it was a weekend we had the kids, so we made plans for them to sleep over our friends house. It was a warm Saturday in July and Charlie was working washing windows and I was at our friends in-laws pool with he kids, Tom had a baseball playoff game that afternoon Charlie and I were going and then dropping him back off at the pool. Charlie arrived at lunch time with a dozen yellow roses for me, I was so happy, our friend said "what is that little box in there" I jumped to my feet, but he was kidding there was no little box. Charlie took a dip in the pool and called the kids down to a corner of the pool, I figured he was going over rules for sleeping over and at the time didn't think much of it. We changed and left for the base ball game, Charlie was being weird, more romantic and lots of childhood memory talk and how much I had given him his life back and what he always wanted for his home to be. When his parents arrived at the game, he said he needed to go talk to them and he would be right back, again this was strange but I didn't give it much thought either.
After the game, we dropped Tom off and went home to ready to go out to dinner, when we went to leave Charlie wanted to stop at the pool and say goodbye/goodnight to the kids, as we walked back in I asked Beth to take care of my flowers and Dan said "they smell really good, you should smell them". Slightly annoyed as I wanted to get going I went over to smell them, on top was a little box all wrapped., Now our friend is a prankster, so I assumed that he went and got a box to play a joke on me, so playing along and cracking jokes I began to open the box....SURPRISE~ inside was a diamond! I turned around and Charlie was on his knees and the kids stood behind him and he asked me to marry them, as tears began to flow, I said "YES" it was perfect, a day I remember like it was yesterday. Dan later said that he thought it should have been more romantic and I told him I would not have it any other way. So now we talk about all that lead up to that moment, well first we set a wedding date 7/28/01 the following summer and our official first date. So I find out that when he called the kids to the corner, he told them his plan. When we left Dan informed our friends and they went and got cake, cards and champagne. At the park when he went to talk to his parents he told them, and the walk through his childhood to meeting me was to let me know how much I meant to him, it all made sense now!!! See, I would have been intrigued by all this behavior if Charlie did things on "special" days, but he didn't he did them went you least excepted it. I guess his thought was I would never suspect a proposal on our anniversary so it was perfect! He was right, I was very, very surprised! We spent the whole night planing our wedding, we started the guest list and we were beyond happy and excited. I was going to have the perfect "Cinderella" like wedding, I mean really is anyone surprised?
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