I am beyond thrilled with all the e-mails from all of you regarding the blog! Alot of you have been asking about the book, the book is completely different. It will be about my relationship with my Mom, the "Irish guilt" her disease and all the laughs we are having along the way.
I have been in contact with a publishing company and a few good friends have also started books. The advice was, start a blog about something different generate interest in your writing. The book is fun, easy to write, start a blog about something different? So, what do I know about, diets...nope lol. My husband said write about you, us the great job you have done with my children. I am.
I am so glad you are all enjoying my personal journey, it has been fun for me to think back about all the wonderful things I am blessed with.
Not being able to have children was the single worst moment of my life. To meet my husband and his 3 little ones who needed me, saved me.
The second worst thing has slowly been watching my Mom die, It has changed me....gave me strengh when I had none, taught me to be a better person. Also, my husband has gone above and beyond to be there for me and my mother, so have my children.
Thank you all for your support and I am glad you are enjoying.....keep reading!!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Time goes on~
So, he's all moved back to his buddies and everything is right with my world. We are spending more and more time together at his place, which for me was great! When we where there it was like the rest of the world didn't exist. Sometimes we talk about his room there, we called it the "cave" and how much fun we had and how easy life was. I learned more and more about him and I was falling in love, hoping he was to. I learned more about his marriage, his children, his family and everything else.
Round about mid February, he invited me come watch him and some friends play in a winter charity softball game outdoors! I think it was for charity, now that I know them all I am not sure it wasn't just for them to play in the snow!! Either way I was excited I would get to meet his friends. This day went horrible wrong. #1, I wore off-white suede boots to any outdoor snowy muddy field with a baby blue suede jacket, I look great, however after standing outside dressed like that I looked ridiculous. Trust me his friends still talk about that outfit! After the game we all went to Sam N Joes for food and drink and more drink and more drink trying to show I could "hang with the big boys" I tired to keep up, that was mistake #2. Mistake # 3 comes after we get back to my place and "drunk girl" ( she caused me lots of trouble over the years) on the advice of his friends, see they told me how happy Charlie was and they had never seen him this happy in a long time, how perfect we seemed together. Drunk girl took this advie and praise and picked that night to tell Charlie " I love you" his reply.......wait for it.... "thank you" wait what, thank you? Yes ladies and gentlemen he thanked me, no "I love you too" nothing silence, a pat on the back may have been better than that. We still joke today, now that I am able to laugh about it. That night drunk girl left the room and cried, what I done? Was this going to ruin everything? When I went back to bed he was asleep, bastard I thought.
The next day there was no mention of what I said, I acted as if nothing was different and joked about his friends, truth be told I had a killer hang-over we pretty much stayed in bed all day! Ok just to be clear although I don't want to talk about it too much, our sex life was beyond amazing and still is~ enough said!
Anyway, after a few days he asked if I wanted to talk about what I said... I played dumb we laughed and talked about what "love" really was, he told me he knew he felt something speacial for me, but wasn't sure if it was love, he didn't want to loose me, but he wasn't ready to say those words. I guess although it hurt that he wasn't ready or that he didn't love me ( which I know he did) he treated me better than any man I had ever known and that for me was going to be enough until I healed his wounds and he was ready to tell me.
I like that now years later, we have told the kids some of the story of us and that is thier favorite and every once in awhile when I say "I love you" to them, they say "thank you"
Round about mid February, he invited me come watch him and some friends play in a winter charity softball game outdoors! I think it was for charity, now that I know them all I am not sure it wasn't just for them to play in the snow!! Either way I was excited I would get to meet his friends. This day went horrible wrong. #1, I wore off-white suede boots to any outdoor snowy muddy field with a baby blue suede jacket, I look great, however after standing outside dressed like that I looked ridiculous. Trust me his friends still talk about that outfit! After the game we all went to Sam N Joes for food and drink and more drink and more drink trying to show I could "hang with the big boys" I tired to keep up, that was mistake #2. Mistake # 3 comes after we get back to my place and "drunk girl" ( she caused me lots of trouble over the years) on the advice of his friends, see they told me how happy Charlie was and they had never seen him this happy in a long time, how perfect we seemed together. Drunk girl took this advie and praise and picked that night to tell Charlie " I love you" his reply.......wait for it.... "thank you" wait what, thank you? Yes ladies and gentlemen he thanked me, no "I love you too" nothing silence, a pat on the back may have been better than that. We still joke today, now that I am able to laugh about it. That night drunk girl left the room and cried, what I done? Was this going to ruin everything? When I went back to bed he was asleep, bastard I thought.
The next day there was no mention of what I said, I acted as if nothing was different and joked about his friends, truth be told I had a killer hang-over we pretty much stayed in bed all day! Ok just to be clear although I don't want to talk about it too much, our sex life was beyond amazing and still is~ enough said!
Anyway, after a few days he asked if I wanted to talk about what I said... I played dumb we laughed and talked about what "love" really was, he told me he knew he felt something speacial for me, but wasn't sure if it was love, he didn't want to loose me, but he wasn't ready to say those words. I guess although it hurt that he wasn't ready or that he didn't love me ( which I know he did) he treated me better than any man I had ever known and that for me was going to be enough until I healed his wounds and he was ready to tell me.
I like that now years later, we have told the kids some of the story of us and that is thier favorite and every once in awhile when I say "I love you" to them, they say "thank you"
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Can I stay with you?
Obviously, I made the right choice, we continued dating and the kids weren't an issue. It had only been 3 1/2 months. It was late October when he told me that his buddy was renovating his home and Charlie needed to find a place to stay. He had the option of staying at his Uncle's as they headed to Florida for the winter or could he stay with me, it was only gonna be 3 weeks. Of course I said "stay with me" 3 weeks turned into 3 months and I was falling head over heals in love!! He did however promise his buddy he would move back in with him and if nothing else Charlie is a man of his word. When the time came for him to move back, I wanted so badly to ask him to stay.
Problem was he was still a married man. There had been no movement towards a divorce, the plan was he would move out, they would possibly try counseling and go from there. He meet me we were dating, there was no mention of her. I didn't ask much about that but it was always in the back of my mind. Who was this woman who gave up this terrific guy? I knew what he told me about his marriage, his short comings and hers. How his expectations weren't met. I was sure she would have her side and somewhere in the middle was the truth. Although he did take 50% percent blame which was more than most guys. Other than what he said I didn't ask much.... plus once I said to him well, there had to happy times and he couldn't remember those, that made me sad for him. Mostly he missed the day to day with his kids and wanted to spend as much time as he possible could with them.
That to me was something to admire the typical divorced Dads do the bare minimum that was never Charlie and I knew that. I knew that if this relationship continued I had to be ready to open my heart. I was sure I could do that.
Christmas rolled around and we celebrated Christmas Eve before he left for work, it was wonderful. I felt truely happy. Christmas day I wouldn't see him, he headed to spend the morning with the kids, his parents and yes, her. He had to work again Christmas night, we did talk on the phone and he did invite me to the station, but I was good and happy and I was affraid I would ask to many questions if I saw him, what I didn't know couldn't hurt me. That would be the last Christmas mornig he would ever spend with his children. I'll get into that later.
Sometime in January he told me that his wife and he had set up a lunch date to "talk" things over. This terrified me and I wanted to hold on for dear life. I think I cried, what did this mean? Had I invested too much, I knew with 3 little kids this was a chance, had I been so wrong about what we felt for each other? 6 months had passed so quickly, neither of us had said "I love you" should I have?
He asked me what I was thinking and I froze, I said you have a family if you think you can make it work then what choice do you have, you need to try. What he said next was music to my ears. He said before I met you maybe I could have tired, but now you are everything I have ever wanted in a woman and more. Still neither of us speaking the words. Then like a knife, he said but if I did it would only be because of the kids. He was torn because of them. He also said that he knew she wanted him to change and he wanted her to change and he didn't think either of them was truely capable of it. Trying to be the strong confident woman, I listened offered adive and told him I would always be his friend.
The lunch day arrived it was a Friday, it was a long day and I didn't want to call and seem insecure. Did I have reason to be? I had never met her, knew only what he told me, so what was there to be affraid of? Oh yeah those 3 little kids.
When I arrived home he was home and packing to move back to his buddies the next weekend, or was he going home? His mood was foul and sad, I needed to ask as casually as I could muster "how was lunch?" he said they talked, cried and in the end realized they had made the right choice and would start the process. I stood silent trying not to show I was beyond thirlled, he then said she leaned over and kissed me. What, wait? Why? My insecurites flooded over me like a title wave. He said it was no big deal but to me, it was huge.
I fought with myself silently over the next few hours trying to rationalize all I was feeling. He wasn't going back he picked me or us. She was his wife, it was a goodbye kiss. Our date that night was strained and I hated it. It felt all so wrong, why was I letting this bother me. To be honest the next week was strained and everytime she paged him, I felt my blood boil. Ok, get ahold of yourself woman. STOP, breathe...
We had a long talk and I spoke of everything that bothred me all my little insecurites, he simply said "we are worth it, we have something" No matter what I have 3 children and a soon to be Ex-wife, you need to handle it, if you can't we can't be.
Simple true and right on point. I can handle it, I will handle it! He moved back to his buddies and we began
dating again, and having the best time ever!!! If I think about it this went fast, he moved in and out all in 7 months and I knew it wouldn't be long before he moved back in!
Problem was he was still a married man. There had been no movement towards a divorce, the plan was he would move out, they would possibly try counseling and go from there. He meet me we were dating, there was no mention of her. I didn't ask much about that but it was always in the back of my mind. Who was this woman who gave up this terrific guy? I knew what he told me about his marriage, his short comings and hers. How his expectations weren't met. I was sure she would have her side and somewhere in the middle was the truth. Although he did take 50% percent blame which was more than most guys. Other than what he said I didn't ask much.... plus once I said to him well, there had to happy times and he couldn't remember those, that made me sad for him. Mostly he missed the day to day with his kids and wanted to spend as much time as he possible could with them.
That to me was something to admire the typical divorced Dads do the bare minimum that was never Charlie and I knew that. I knew that if this relationship continued I had to be ready to open my heart. I was sure I could do that.
Christmas rolled around and we celebrated Christmas Eve before he left for work, it was wonderful. I felt truely happy. Christmas day I wouldn't see him, he headed to spend the morning with the kids, his parents and yes, her. He had to work again Christmas night, we did talk on the phone and he did invite me to the station, but I was good and happy and I was affraid I would ask to many questions if I saw him, what I didn't know couldn't hurt me. That would be the last Christmas mornig he would ever spend with his children. I'll get into that later.
Sometime in January he told me that his wife and he had set up a lunch date to "talk" things over. This terrified me and I wanted to hold on for dear life. I think I cried, what did this mean? Had I invested too much, I knew with 3 little kids this was a chance, had I been so wrong about what we felt for each other? 6 months had passed so quickly, neither of us had said "I love you" should I have?
He asked me what I was thinking and I froze, I said you have a family if you think you can make it work then what choice do you have, you need to try. What he said next was music to my ears. He said before I met you maybe I could have tired, but now you are everything I have ever wanted in a woman and more. Still neither of us speaking the words. Then like a knife, he said but if I did it would only be because of the kids. He was torn because of them. He also said that he knew she wanted him to change and he wanted her to change and he didn't think either of them was truely capable of it. Trying to be the strong confident woman, I listened offered adive and told him I would always be his friend.
The lunch day arrived it was a Friday, it was a long day and I didn't want to call and seem insecure. Did I have reason to be? I had never met her, knew only what he told me, so what was there to be affraid of? Oh yeah those 3 little kids.
When I arrived home he was home and packing to move back to his buddies the next weekend, or was he going home? His mood was foul and sad, I needed to ask as casually as I could muster "how was lunch?" he said they talked, cried and in the end realized they had made the right choice and would start the process. I stood silent trying not to show I was beyond thirlled, he then said she leaned over and kissed me. What, wait? Why? My insecurites flooded over me like a title wave. He said it was no big deal but to me, it was huge.
I fought with myself silently over the next few hours trying to rationalize all I was feeling. He wasn't going back he picked me or us. She was his wife, it was a goodbye kiss. Our date that night was strained and I hated it. It felt all so wrong, why was I letting this bother me. To be honest the next week was strained and everytime she paged him, I felt my blood boil. Ok, get ahold of yourself woman. STOP, breathe...
We had a long talk and I spoke of everything that bothred me all my little insecurites, he simply said "we are worth it, we have something" No matter what I have 3 children and a soon to be Ex-wife, you need to handle it, if you can't we can't be.
Simple true and right on point. I can handle it, I will handle it! He moved back to his buddies and we began
dating again, and having the best time ever!!! If I think about it this went fast, he moved in and out all in 7 months and I knew it wouldn't be long before he moved back in!
He's Back~
Well~ day one of his week away....2 of my best guy friends called they were heading to NH to Bill's parents place and wanted to know if I wanted to go, what the heck. We were out on the boat and I was soaking up the sun and the boys went tubing, I thought I would try, thinking back now, the voices in my head where screaming at me not to do it, but as usual I ignored them. All I remember was flipping off and feeling like my arm left my body, all I heard around me as I gasped for air trying to stay above water....(yes, this is me being dramatic) was my 2 friends lifting me and then because 1 boob came out of my bathing suit, they dropped me back in the water. Really?? I know they had seen boobies before. After adjusting myself they finally pulled me to safety. I was in pain and angry at myself. I am not the most athletic or outdoorsy girl and this just proved sun bathing is the only summer activity I should do.
I ended up in the ER with a small fracture to my shoulder, my doctor said they can sometimes be more painful than an actual break. My left arm was placed in a sling for 3 weeks!! I am a righty so this wasn't as horrible as it could have been. Do you see where this is going?
When Charlie got back on Saturday he called and asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner, of course I did.
Now I know "The Rules Book" which was very popular back then, stated never make yourself available last minute, I said to hell with the rules "Yes, Charlie, I am available and would love to go". I did tell him about my shoulder, so we made quite the pair, him in his cast me in a sling, oy. We joked that we would tell the waitress it was a trampoline accident gone horrible wrong, surprisingly no one asked, we did get a lot of strange looks. It was the best first date I had ever had. The kiss at the end, let's just say it made my toes curl and I had butterflies in my stomach, truth be told I still do to this day when he kisses me.
Oddly enough the fact that he had a broken wrist worked to our advantage, he was unable to work and when he wasn't with the kids he was with me. We spent a lot of time together Monday -Friday, the weekends he had his children and we were no where near that point yet. I felt like this relationship was better than any other I had, he was caring, a good listener, fun to be around and I was really getting to know him and he was getting to know me.
Not the me everyone thought they knew, but the real me. During my first marriage I worked at the same hospital as my Ex-husband, our divorce was very public and rumors ran wild. I was a single gal with lots of friends and had parties and went out, my social circle was work.... people love to gossip and boy did I make it easy!! I ended up leaving as all the "chatter' got to be too much and even though 80% of stuff wasn't true I was never going to be able to change the perception.
Anyway, enough about that, that could be another blog! At the end of the summer there was a charity softball game between the Peabody Police and Firedepartment, it was a public event and I knew Charlie was going (didn't know it was with his kids), I asked my friend Bill to go with me, it was good oppurtunity to hang out. When I arrived, what I saw stopped me dead in my tracks... there he was surrounded by 3 little ones dancing around him in a cricle, as adorable as it was I thought "am I crazy?" I can't date a man with 3 little kids, was this my plan, would I be good at it, could I love them? These and a gazillion other questions whirled around in my mind. My friend saw my panic and we went for a walk, he pointed out that Charlie was a great guy, perfect for me, me for him how happy I had been the past few months since I had meet him was I really going to walk away?
I ended up in the ER with a small fracture to my shoulder, my doctor said they can sometimes be more painful than an actual break. My left arm was placed in a sling for 3 weeks!! I am a righty so this wasn't as horrible as it could have been. Do you see where this is going?
When Charlie got back on Saturday he called and asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner, of course I did.
Now I know "The Rules Book" which was very popular back then, stated never make yourself available last minute, I said to hell with the rules "Yes, Charlie, I am available and would love to go". I did tell him about my shoulder, so we made quite the pair, him in his cast me in a sling, oy. We joked that we would tell the waitress it was a trampoline accident gone horrible wrong, surprisingly no one asked, we did get a lot of strange looks. It was the best first date I had ever had. The kiss at the end, let's just say it made my toes curl and I had butterflies in my stomach, truth be told I still do to this day when he kisses me.
Oddly enough the fact that he had a broken wrist worked to our advantage, he was unable to work and when he wasn't with the kids he was with me. We spent a lot of time together Monday -Friday, the weekends he had his children and we were no where near that point yet. I felt like this relationship was better than any other I had, he was caring, a good listener, fun to be around and I was really getting to know him and he was getting to know me.
Not the me everyone thought they knew, but the real me. During my first marriage I worked at the same hospital as my Ex-husband, our divorce was very public and rumors ran wild. I was a single gal with lots of friends and had parties and went out, my social circle was work.... people love to gossip and boy did I make it easy!! I ended up leaving as all the "chatter' got to be too much and even though 80% of stuff wasn't true I was never going to be able to change the perception.
Anyway, enough about that, that could be another blog! At the end of the summer there was a charity softball game between the Peabody Police and Firedepartment, it was a public event and I knew Charlie was going (didn't know it was with his kids), I asked my friend Bill to go with me, it was good oppurtunity to hang out. When I arrived, what I saw stopped me dead in my tracks... there he was surrounded by 3 little ones dancing around him in a cricle, as adorable as it was I thought "am I crazy?" I can't date a man with 3 little kids, was this my plan, would I be good at it, could I love them? These and a gazillion other questions whirled around in my mind. My friend saw my panic and we went for a walk, he pointed out that Charlie was a great guy, perfect for me, me for him how happy I had been the past few months since I had meet him was I really going to walk away?
Monday, August 1, 2011
The Date~
We began talking on the phone alot, I also took a new approach with this man, I told everything about me no lies, the good the bad the lies, the mistakes everything, something about him made me want to be a better woman.
I looked forward to our nightly phone calls and seeing him at the games, he fnallly asked me on a date 3 weeks after our kisses in the pool. The date was set it was a Wednesday night and we planed to have dinner after the softball game, I was on cloud nine.
I got to the game late and was a bit nervous, he was at bat and hit a long drive into the out feild, he was running the ball was comming back in, he slide and all that was heard was a crack and a scream.... that was it, he broke his wrist he had to be taken to th ER, Jess drove him (the girl that lliked him as well), I followed.
She left after droping him off, I stayed for a while... found out he would need to have surgery. His friend and his friend's wife showed up and they had called is wife (separated) she was comming to get his car and take care of him.
He asked to see me, our date was post-poned and I left, feeling every emotion possible and wonder when, or if I would hear from him.....yes I can be a drama queen , or could be I am not (or try not to be) anymore.
I knew his surgery was the next day, I heard nothing. Jess called me she knew alot of the guys on the department and found out that his surgery went fine and he was home. Not the apartment he had moved into several days earlier, but his home, with his wife, his kids and his parents who lived in an in-law appartment.
I'm not gonna lie, I hung up the phone and cried for a while.... I hadn't had good experiences in love so why did I think this would be any different. I spent the night feeling sorry for myself.
Friday mornig, he callled. He sounded so sweet and so sad that we had to cancel our date, he said he was staying with his wife, saying how weird it sounded but he really had no place else to go. Let's face it I would have offered to take care of him, but how well would that have worked, we hadn't even had a n offical date....just a few make-out sessions.
Trying to sound like a secure confident woman, I commented how great that was. He then reminded me that was leaving the next day for a week with his kids and another family they had gone on vacation with. He was taking the kids alone with a broken wrist, to Story Land I thought this man is amazing. I want to know more.
I told him to have a great time, and I wanted that date when he got back. I hung up actually feeling like a strong confident woman. It was a long week~
I looked forward to our nightly phone calls and seeing him at the games, he fnallly asked me on a date 3 weeks after our kisses in the pool. The date was set it was a Wednesday night and we planed to have dinner after the softball game, I was on cloud nine.
I got to the game late and was a bit nervous, he was at bat and hit a long drive into the out feild, he was running the ball was comming back in, he slide and all that was heard was a crack and a scream.... that was it, he broke his wrist he had to be taken to th ER, Jess drove him (the girl that lliked him as well), I followed.
She left after droping him off, I stayed for a while... found out he would need to have surgery. His friend and his friend's wife showed up and they had called is wife (separated) she was comming to get his car and take care of him.
He asked to see me, our date was post-poned and I left, feeling every emotion possible and wonder when, or if I would hear from him.....yes I can be a drama queen , or could be I am not (or try not to be) anymore.
I knew his surgery was the next day, I heard nothing. Jess called me she knew alot of the guys on the department and found out that his surgery went fine and he was home. Not the apartment he had moved into several days earlier, but his home, with his wife, his kids and his parents who lived in an in-law appartment.
I'm not gonna lie, I hung up the phone and cried for a while.... I hadn't had good experiences in love so why did I think this would be any different. I spent the night feeling sorry for myself.
Friday mornig, he callled. He sounded so sweet and so sad that we had to cancel our date, he said he was staying with his wife, saying how weird it sounded but he really had no place else to go. Let's face it I would have offered to take care of him, but how well would that have worked, we hadn't even had a n offical date....just a few make-out sessions.
Trying to sound like a secure confident woman, I commented how great that was. He then reminded me that was leaving the next day for a week with his kids and another family they had gone on vacation with. He was taking the kids alone with a broken wrist, to Story Land I thought this man is amazing. I want to know more.
I told him to have a great time, and I wanted that date when he got back. I hung up actually feeling like a strong confident woman. It was a long week~
moving forward
Charlie was shy and in emotional turmoil, thinking he had it all, a home, 3 healthy happy kids. Suddenly that was turned upside down. He clearly was not getting my less that obvious passes, it was cute. Finally I took the bull by the horns and invited him to a block party I was attending 4th of July weekend, to my surprise and delight he came. It became clear to me at this party that there was another girl who had designs on him as well and nick named him "Charlie bear" really? UGH. So, like they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer, she became my new best friend..... I soon learned she lied and did not have my best interest at heart, luckily Charlie figured it out and ignored anything she said.
When he had to leave the party, I kissed him good-bye, he still didn't get it. It was becoming clear to me I was gonna to have to throw myself at this man and believe me you I would. He had been a dedicated husband and father and was outa the game.
Several weeks went by, we talked after every game...when the kids where with him I chatted with them, but was never introduced, I thought they were adorable...but they scared the HELL outa me. On one particular night it was so hot that one of the guys on the team invited us to his home for drinks and to go in the pool....Charlie was on the fence about going, but I beged, I mean it I beged. He said he would come~ In the pool alone, I had less than lady like behavior, and let him know how much I liked him.
I had made so many mistakes with men in the past, sleeping with them to soon, I was not going to do this with him. I was going to take my time build a relationship and make him fall in love with me. At the end of the night he asked for my number, he called the next day.
When he had to leave the party, I kissed him good-bye, he still didn't get it. It was becoming clear to me I was gonna to have to throw myself at this man and believe me you I would. He had been a dedicated husband and father and was outa the game.
Several weeks went by, we talked after every game...when the kids where with him I chatted with them, but was never introduced, I thought they were adorable...but they scared the HELL outa me. On one particular night it was so hot that one of the guys on the team invited us to his home for drinks and to go in the pool....Charlie was on the fence about going, but I beged, I mean it I beged. He said he would come~ In the pool alone, I had less than lady like behavior, and let him know how much I liked him.
I had made so many mistakes with men in the past, sleeping with them to soon, I was not going to do this with him. I was going to take my time build a relationship and make him fall in love with me. At the end of the night he asked for my number, he called the next day.
Ok~ I am trying to do this so noone gets bored, if anyone ever reads this at all, I wish there had been some
book or blogg for me back in the day to help me navigate my new path, there wasn't and althoug I have
come out stronger, with more life, love and laughter than I ever though possible. I am blessed with 3 amazing kids... I don't like to call them "step" because I have watched them grow, helped with homework, rides, advice style, fashion, I have been to just about every hockey, basketball, lacrose, or concert plus a shoulder to cry on, and couldn't love them anymore if they where my own.
So...before I get to off track... back to my priest telling me about "God's plan for me"..... a freind
said to me a few weeks after Charlie and I began dating, "maybe this was your plan" a man with
3 small children who from what I could tell at the time had the alot, maybe I was meant for them and
them for me?
book or blogg for me back in the day to help me navigate my new path, there wasn't and althoug I have
come out stronger, with more life, love and laughter than I ever though possible. I am blessed with 3 amazing kids... I don't like to call them "step" because I have watched them grow, helped with homework, rides, advice style, fashion, I have been to just about every hockey, basketball, lacrose, or concert plus a shoulder to cry on, and couldn't love them anymore if they where my own.
So...before I get to off track... back to my priest telling me about "God's plan for me"..... a freind
said to me a few weeks after Charlie and I began dating, "maybe this was your plan" a man with
3 small children who from what I could tell at the time had the alot, maybe I was meant for them and
them for me?
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