In my blog "wanna meet the kids" I told you all a story of a run-in at the mall with Charlie and the kids, I gave you my point of view and I told you of the story Bethany wrote about the same unofficial meeting, before I shared it, I just want to check with her, she said it was fine to share .....so here it is! Hysterical!
Bethany's take~
A year after my Mom and Dad announced the divorce; I was out with my Dad getting our weekly lunch at the North Shore Mall. I sat with my brothers and my friend Kelly, eating my chicken nugget Happy Meal in the food court. I joked and laughed with my brothers as we all played with our toys we got from McDonalds. Every once in a while, I would look around the busy mall and watch hectic shoppers rush by me. As I looked up, I see my Dad wave to a woman from across the food court. The woman walked over and hugged my Dad. My brothers and I watched in confusion as my Dad hugged and talked with this stranger. My Dad looks over to us smiling and yells over the noise of the mall: “Hey guys! I want you to meet someone!” The stranger strutted her stuff as she walked over to introduce herself. She was a little larger woman, with a great smile and expensive clothes. She had all the confidence in the world, but all I noticed was her 80’s hair and obnoxious red lipstick. “Kids, this is my friend Lisa,” said my Dad. “Hey guys, how are you?! It’s really nice to finally meet you!” This woman spoke like my brothers and I were some sort of celebrities. She was over-excited and continued to be over perky and over complimented everything about us. Not impressed, I continued to play with my Happy Meal toy and simply replied, “Hi.” She stayed and talked with my Dad and his friend for a few more minutes, and I glared at her for, what felt like, hours. I watched her every move and how she stared at my Dad and giggled like a little girl at everything he said. I knew that Lisa was not just my Dad’s "friend"
Back to the blog~
Even now, years later to read this makes me chuckle, she was dead-on...so perceptive at such a young age.
So the official meeting came in late February early March 1998, Charlie and I talked about it, my parents being divorced I remembered meeting my stepmother and feeling strange and unease. I didn't want that for Charlie's kids. I came up with the idea to bring my Goddaughter she was a year younger than Bethany and adored me, so I though perfect ice breaker. We picked BONKERS as a good neutral meeting spot, get some pizza, play some video games just have some fun! The time and the place set. My nerves not so much, I was a bundle of worry. I loved this man, what if his kids didn't like me what did that mean for our relationship. Charlie's kids were/are so important to him. Kids could smell phony a mile away, I had to go easy, be myself but not too much. I've been told I can be a little over the top( I don't see it) I try so hard to have people like me. Some might consider that a flaw, I don't. As the day approached I was filled with doubt. He was still married, I can't even remember if they had started the divorce process, so was opening myself up to getting attached to the kids as well and not having this work? I had to look at it as another life experience that would help me learn and grow. Nothing in life is a guarantee so I had to take a leap of faith.
So on the drive there I talked to my goddaughter about being nice and having fun and making her auntie Lisa seem like the best! The actual "hey guys" was great, I introduced Lexi (whom years later I found out was incredible mean to Bethany, Bethany and I laugh about it now) off the kids went to play, we had pizza told stories joked around with the boys. Beth was pretty quite and for me little girls loved me, so this was gonna be harder than I thought. The boys were so easy and I had been most nervous about them. Dan was eager to please doing little tricks on things and always with a big smile, Tom was smart, very smart and liked to explain how certain games worked and how to beat them. Beth was shy and holding onto to her Daddy, I got that "Daddy's little girl" All this so new to her, I know that confusion. I lived it, I couldn't try to hard it would make it worse. I understood more than she knew. 31 at the time and I still wanted my parents back together, now at 45 I still want them together. I know it isn't or never was possible but I still wanted it. I think it is a girl thing.
The night overall was fun and I enjoyed meeting them so much. At the end of the night Dan gave me a hug and I loved him for that. Charlie went in for a quick kiss goodbye and I pulled away fast, the look of terror that arose on Beth's face was enough to tell me to go slow, no one was ready for that. After I dropped Lexi off I went home and cried, it was a very emotional night. I was head over heels for this great guy. To me the past 8 1/2 months felt like he was 2 people my boyfriend and their Dad, the lives where separate and safe for both of us. Now what? Could this work? Could I take on the responsibility of 3 kids? Charlie had his kids as much as he could, his Ex worked alot, he was with kids everyday. Now that I meet them would I see them everyday as well? These and a gazillion question kept me up most of that night. Woman!! We worry about everything before it even happens. Baby steps, no "I love you" yet no divorce yet...keep it light Lisa, keep it light!
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