I was so happy, happier than I had ever been. I loved this man, he made me laugh, he accepted me for who I was, I meant enough to him for him to introduce me into the lives of his children. We were having a great summer, sleepovers, movies, Saturday's at our friends pool it was great. I felt part of something, a family they all made it so easy.
One day we made plans to go to the beach, I was going to meet them all as my Mom needed a ride later in the day so I was going to leave early. We went to Nahant with kites, buckets, shovels, balls, umbrellas, sunscreen and we even packed drinks and a lunch, this was odd to me who needed this much stuff? For me it was towel, chair, lotion, book, radio..... ah the simple things. Well, Charlie told me when you go to the beach with kids you need to bring things to entertain them. Um? Okay, this is the day I learned Charlie prepares for everything! He makes list, double checks them gets as much as he can ready the night before. sidenote: nowadays, I make a list and I love how prepared he is.
In my mind, I am laughing and thinking he is crazy, then again I have NEVER been to the beach with kids before, maybe once, maybe. We were ready and off to the beach we went. I think it took a 1/2hr or so to get everything to our spot and settled. I positioned my chair perfectly to the sun and I sat down, lotion on, bring on the tan. seconds, later voices yell "come to the water" "lets fly kites" "can we look for shells?" I am thinking what is this? The beach is for relaxing.... seeing the panic on my face Charlie takes my hand and says "this is what a day at the beach is like with kids, glad you came?" I smiles, I was! We had a great day of playing in waves laughing talking, teasing it was fun. I didn't care that I didn't get to sit in the sun, I liked playing games and digging a big hole and covering the kids in sand...then it was my turn...boy, did I have sand everywhere, but I was happy.
It came time for me to leave, I had to go get my Mom, the kids were sad I had to go. I packed up the few things I had laughing that my simple days at the beach might just be behind me for a while. Walking back to my car, not sure what made me stop and look back I was pretty far, but I could see Charlie and the boys and they seemed frantic..... I looked in front of me on the beach by a life guard station and there she was in her little pink and yellow bathing suit, crying trying to get the life guards attention. I dropped everything and began to run to her, calling her name "Bethany" she looked and she began to run to me, she lept into my arms crying and holding on for dear life. I was walking back towards Charlie calling out to him he finally saw me and came running with the boys. Beth then lept from me to him. She had been chasing seagulls and lost her way. He was relived I had seen her, so was I. Walking back to where I dropped everything which luckily enough a little old couple walking along had seen me, and Beth and they stayed with my things until I came back, I was very grateful.
Looking back again I see them all Beth holding her Dads hand and the boys running in a circle around them. I smile and feel such a sense of contentment. I had something pretty special here. I picked up my Mom, late and filled her in on the days events.... she says "your gonna make a good stepmom". Stop it I say, I am not ready for that, we have only been dating a year. He's not divorced yet, I don't want to get married again, do I? Amazing how our parents can say the simplest thing to us and it sends our minds in a gazillion directions, or maybe that is just my Mom.
Later that night I find out this isn't the first run in with seagulls Beth has had, poor thing. She gave me a big hug the next time she saw me, and told me all about how she was lost and then she heard me calling her, I loved that it was me that found her, I loved her.
The summer went on with lots of fun and beach days and I found myself looking forward to every moment. I was scared as hell as well. What if this didn't work. Gosh I would loose them all. This was different than any relationship I had been in. Was my mother right? Would I be a good stepmother? What did that mean? What did a stepmom do? I mean I had one, but they lived in California and my parents didn't get along so me spending time with them was never an option. Did Charlie want to get married again, Christ he wasn't divorced yet, we hadn't even talked like that. We didn't even say "I love you", well I did...epic fail never to be said again! Well, he was gonna say it first, this time! I didn't want to get remarried, or did I? Yup, one little conversation with my Mom and I had gone off the deep end!
I needed some time with Andrea, my best friend, she would help always does. Even to this day she keeps me sane. We went out and talked and I felt better although she agreed I was putting my heart out there for a potential crush.
No comments:
Post a Comment