Obviously, I made the right choice, we continued dating and the kids weren't an issue. It had only been 3 1/2 months. It was late October when he told me that his buddy was renovating his home and Charlie needed to find a place to stay. He had the option of staying at his Uncle's as they headed to Florida for the winter or could he stay with me, it was only gonna be 3 weeks. Of course I said "stay with me" 3 weeks turned into 3 months and I was falling head over heals in love!! He did however promise his buddy he would move back in with him and if nothing else Charlie is a man of his word. When the time came for him to move back, I wanted so badly to ask him to stay.
Problem was he was still a married man. There had been no movement towards a divorce, the plan was he would move out, they would possibly try counseling and go from there. He meet me we were dating, there was no mention of her. I didn't ask much about that but it was always in the back of my mind. Who was this woman who gave up this terrific guy? I knew what he told me about his marriage, his short comings and hers. How his expectations weren't met. I was sure she would have her side and somewhere in the middle was the truth. Although he did take 50% percent blame which was more than most guys. Other than what he said I didn't ask much.... plus once I said to him well, there had to happy times and he couldn't remember those, that made me sad for him. Mostly he missed the day to day with his kids and wanted to spend as much time as he possible could with them.
That to me was something to admire the typical divorced Dads do the bare minimum that was never Charlie and I knew that. I knew that if this relationship continued I had to be ready to open my heart. I was sure I could do that.
Christmas rolled around and we celebrated Christmas Eve before he left for work, it was wonderful. I felt truely happy. Christmas day I wouldn't see him, he headed to spend the morning with the kids, his parents and yes, her. He had to work again Christmas night, we did talk on the phone and he did invite me to the station, but I was good and happy and I was affraid I would ask to many questions if I saw him, what I didn't know couldn't hurt me. That would be the last Christmas mornig he would ever spend with his children. I'll get into that later.
Sometime in January he told me that his wife and he had set up a lunch date to "talk" things over. This terrified me and I wanted to hold on for dear life. I think I cried, what did this mean? Had I invested too much, I knew with 3 little kids this was a chance, had I been so wrong about what we felt for each other? 6 months had passed so quickly, neither of us had said "I love you" should I have?
He asked me what I was thinking and I froze, I said you have a family if you think you can make it work then what choice do you have, you need to try. What he said next was music to my ears. He said before I met you maybe I could have tired, but now you are everything I have ever wanted in a woman and more. Still neither of us speaking the words. Then like a knife, he said but if I did it would only be because of the kids. He was torn because of them. He also said that he knew she wanted him to change and he wanted her to change and he didn't think either of them was truely capable of it. Trying to be the strong confident woman, I listened offered adive and told him I would always be his friend.
The lunch day arrived it was a Friday, it was a long day and I didn't want to call and seem insecure. Did I have reason to be? I had never met her, knew only what he told me, so what was there to be affraid of? Oh yeah those 3 little kids.
When I arrived home he was home and packing to move back to his buddies the next weekend, or was he going home? His mood was foul and sad, I needed to ask as casually as I could muster "how was lunch?" he said they talked, cried and in the end realized they had made the right choice and would start the process. I stood silent trying not to show I was beyond thirlled, he then said she leaned over and kissed me. What, wait? Why? My insecurites flooded over me like a title wave. He said it was no big deal but to me, it was huge.
I fought with myself silently over the next few hours trying to rationalize all I was feeling. He wasn't going back he picked me or us. She was his wife, it was a goodbye kiss. Our date that night was strained and I hated it. It felt all so wrong, why was I letting this bother me. To be honest the next week was strained and everytime she paged him, I felt my blood boil. Ok, get ahold of yourself woman. STOP, breathe...
We had a long talk and I spoke of everything that bothred me all my little insecurites, he simply said "we are worth it, we have something" No matter what I have 3 children and a soon to be Ex-wife, you need to handle it, if you can't we can't be.
Simple true and right on point. I can handle it, I will handle it! He moved back to his buddies and we began
dating again, and having the best time ever!!! If I think about it this went fast, he moved in and out all in 7 months and I knew it wouldn't be long before he moved back in!
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