next....

At the next game, sadly he wasn't there at all and that is when I learned he and a few other guys where
Firefighters.... even more impressed as I love a man in uniform!   I stayed wathced the game and asked
more questions.... the softball team for me over the years had been my own "Bull Durham" I was the
Susan Sarandon, character..looking for love in all the wrong men.  With a new season came new hopes
of love and this guy was it, I just knew it! 

One thing I did not lack was confidence even if I was and still am slightly over weight (which could be a
whole new blogg) If I wanted something, I got it.  Not much stood in my way, this would be no different.
He had no idea.  However, I had never dated anyone with kids, although I loved kids..how did I feel about not being #1.

Let me go back a little.  I was 31 at the time and had been divorced for a little over 8yrs, I married my high school sweet heart..big mistake, huge!!  At the age of 23 and after 11 miscarriage and 1 Anencephalic pregnacy at 7 months, I was told I could not carry to term or have a viable pregnancy this devasted me.  It was also the end of my marriage.  At 22 being single and unable to have children well, lets just say there are not alot of second dates.  it was a difficult time and I made so many very poor choices, but they all helped me be the person I am today.  So I guess I wouldn't change it.

My priest at the time told me "God had a plan for me" well I thought this was crazy!! what the hell plan
would He have for me, me I wanted 4 kids, I couldn't wait to be a Mom, what plan, when???