We had a great time in Disney, I however was excited heading home! Bringing the kids to their new house and then I wanted to head over to "our" home, I was beyond excited. I was still I bit apprehensive, I mean I was giving up my safety net and what if this didn't work, I wasn't normally one to take risks this was uncharted territory for me. The whole plane ride home that was all I could think about, we dropped the kids off, they were excited to see their new home. Their Mom moving while we were away definitely made the transition much easier for them. We said our goodbyes and heading "home."
Charlie's parents lived in the in-law apartment in our basement, since I had always lived in a 3 family this wasn't a big deal for me, I was happy to have someone there with me, I had never really lived completely alone and since Charlie worked 2 overnights a week and kids would be with their Mom at times, it was perfect. I loved Charlie's parents his Dad was and forever will be one of the kindest, thoughtful and most caring men I have ever meet! He made me feel right at home, his Mom was ill, she had Parkinson's disease his Dad took wonderful care of her and I am sure it was a big relief to his Dad that Charlie would be moving back, although even when we lived together he was over to see his parents/kids just about ever day. Charlie always says all his "good" qualities came from his Dad. I think Charlie was glad that I didn't mind his parent living there, with his Mom being sick he wanted us to be able to help out and give his Dad a break. I was more than happy to do that.
Going off track and jumping ahead a little as I feel it is important to talk about this. It was very hard on Charlie's Dad taking care of his Mom, from what I've been told she was a wonderful woman but very very set in her ways, independent and a little demanding. When I meet her she was well into her disease and not the woman she had once been. They loved to travel and once she got sick it was hard for them to continue to do this. I must say watching his Dad with her, the compassion and patience he had was beyond anything I had ever witnessed before. After 10yrs or so of him taking care of her at home, it just became too much, even with our help. Eventually, she had to be placed in a nursing home, it was a very difficult decision and when it came down to it, it was Charlie that ended up making the decision for his Dad along with his sister. Charlie's Dad went to the nursing home everyday like clock work 10am he left got his coffee and a treat for Fran and at 4pm he was back home, it was sad to see he was lost with her. He did go out with friends on occasion and came upstairs for meals with us once in a while, and on nights Charlie worked he and I got take out, I loved spending time with him, we would talk for hours, well I would talk. he would listen. In all our conversation, he never had a bad word to say about anyone! He was also a very generous man, when Charlie would go away with his buddies for his golf weekend, his Dad would always sneak up to the kitchen and leave me some money, when I would ask he would say "wasn't me" we both knew it was.
Early in 2005 it became clear to us that his Dad had the begin signs of Alzheimer's, first the doctor told us he could no longer drive, that I think was the hardest part, Charlie's aunt was a huge help taking him to see Fran. I only worked 4 days a week so I was able to help also and Charlie who worked 2 jobs scheduled things so that he could take his dad also, Charlie sister came down on weekends and helped out as well. We had a good little schedule going. One night in the begin of June, Charlie was at the station, the kids and I went out to eat and when we got home Dan and I went downstairs to see Joe, he hadn't been feeling well for a few days he thought he had a cold, that nigh the didn't look good to me at all. I had been making suggestion all week he give his doctor a call and get checked out, he shrugged it off and since he was my elder who was I to argue. That night I insisted we go to the ER and I called Charlie to come home and bring him, I didn't want leave the kids alone. Turns out his blood sugar was 57, yeah not good! We knew he was diabetic, but it was diet controlled and we had been keeping an eye on it, apparently not a good one. He was admitted to the hospital and then a week or so later he was able to come home, but now he would need insulin shots twice daily, with the Alzheimer's progressing he was not going to be able to do this himself so Charlie and I learned how to give him the shots, mix the N and the R if needed, and how to check his blood sugar. I was terrified of needles and looking back I am sorta impressed with myself that I was able to over-come this fear and take care him. Of course over the short time since he had come into my life, he had been like a farther to me. I am not sure anyone, even Charlie realized how close we had become. His dad came home, we were set up with visiting nurses to help us, this turned out to be more of a hassle than anything else, except the weekend nurse Sue, she was amazing! We had arranged to meet with them and go over all the specifics and set up a schedule for us, Charlie's sister and the nurses that would come help us. Sadly the visiting nurses turned out to be a huge disappointment, it was someone different each day and they didn't seem to share information. They didn't understand his Dad couldn't do the shots himself and seems annoyed with us. Needless to say it was not a helpful experience, except for the weekends. there was no consistency during the week and we had to explain things over and over like it was the first time. Finally one Friday the nurse spoke to me in such a condescending manor, I lost my mind and let her and the entire system have it!!! I called managers, directors and anyone else who would listen, I was done and was not going to be treated this way by anyone, especially people who were there to help me. We ended up hiring a nurse privately to come once a day to check on him and we rearranged our schedules to make it work. At that time, my Mother also got sick and I was feeling very overwhelmed. Charlie and I went food shopping one night for us, his Dad and my Mom, trying to take his Dads diabetic needs into consideration, it was challenging we had 2 carriages and a basket and I stopped in the middle of the isle and began to cry, I wasn't sure I could do all this, I was feeling sorry for myself and everyone involved. Then Charlie teared up and began to hug me and tell me it all would be ok, we could do this, we could do anything together, we stood there in aile 5 of Shaw's for what seemed like forever, crying and hugging. Taking care of 3 sick parents was not easy, but he was right we had each other and we were a pretty good team. To this day he is still helping me with my Mom. I would be lost without his love and support.
Early August on a Wednesday night, my Mom had surgery that day and I was taking care of her, Charlie's sister had come down to take care of his Dad and Charlie was at the station, I got a frantic call from Tommy that Joe wasn't doing good and I needed to get home. When I arrived it was like 100 degrees int he house and Joe was upstairs and his sister had shut the Ac's off, Joe didn't really like ac, he had a small fan and downstairs was much cooler. He didn't look good, I took his blood sugar it was high, very high, but also he was having terrible abdominal pain. We called an ambulance and all hell broke loose. It started to rain, I mean epic rain. Ambulance and police arrived and then over the scanner, we heard that E5 (Charlie's truck) at a brush fire had been struck by lighting, this shit only happens to me! The cop in the way Tommy and Charlie's sister pacing, the phone ringing, I was about to loose my mind again! I can laugh about it now, but boy that was not a fun night and I still had to go back and check on my Mom. I called Charlie and he was about to call me, he heard the dispatch to our home, The EM T's had found a lump in Joe's groin area and felt he needed to go the hospital, I couldn't go I had to get back to my Mom, Charlie's sister was going, but not sure how long she could stay, so I needed for Charlie to leave work and meet them Beverly hospital, turns out he had an inguinal hernia wraped around his small intestine and would need emergency surgery. Charlie spent the night at the hospital, they weren't sure how it would go because of all the medication Joe took. He did great and spent a few days in the hospital and then Rehab at Rosewood Nursing home, which is how I discovered the place and my Mom ened up there 5yrs later, maybe everything does happen for a reason.
Charlie's sister was spending time with his Mom and we were taking care of Joe, who honestly when he first came home from the rehab seemed great! I was feeling encouraged and my Mom seemed a bit better, we were all managing.
Fast forward a few months to October, and 3 more surgeries for my Mom, and they still didn't know where she was bleeding from. Joe didn't look good to us. I had been taking him to most of his regular check-ups with the doctor and taking my Mom to hers, I had Fridays off and it worked. I just seemed to handle it better, plus I wanted to take some of the burden off of Charlie and since I was able, I did. We had seen a decline in Joe over the past few weeks and we were having a hard time keeping his blood surgars accurate, I called the Doctor and he wanted to see him. That day, I felt Charlie needed to go, I am not sure why, it was just a feeling I had, turns out I was right. I called him gave him the time, it was a Thursday so I would pick up the kids and meet him at home. I was drivng home with the kids and they were telling stories of there week, when my cell phone rang, it was Charlie, he asked where I was, I told him I was driving with the kids, he told me to pull over for a minute. Turns out the doctor was sure Joe had pancreatic cancer, as Chalire says "the doc walked in looked at dad and turned and said I think he has cancer" as matter of fact as that. They were send him for an ultrasound later that night, but sending him home for a bit to drink the drinks. I tired really hard to just say "ok" I didn't want to upset the kids. Luckily they never asked..we drove home and I waited for Charlie and Joe. Joe was not happy about the drinks and I am not sure he fully understood what was going on. I went with them back to the hospital, trying to keep our concern from the kids wasn't easy, they were old enough to know somwhing was wrong. He had the test, we waited, they put us on the phone with the Doctor, me being in the medical field knew right away this wasn't good news.
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